Perspective

As I haphazardly moved a hunk of dry, rubbery chicken from one side of my plate to the other, I commented on the lack of quality food available in the cafeteria. Every day I play the “lunchroom lottery”, cringing as I scan my ID, grab a plate, and peruse the options.

Tater Tots®? I’m wary of foods that need to be copyrighted.

Chicken…I think. You may want to think twice if the word meat is surrounded with quotation marks.

The fish looks dry, as usual.

All the bananas are brown.

Meatballs! Wait, never mind.

I’m pretty sure those eggs aren’t real.

Often I abandon the cafeteria in mild disgust and turn to the salad bar with hesitant optimism.

Only iceberg lettuce today. *cue sarcasm* Hey, I have a great idea. Let’s take lettuce, suck out all the nutrients, chop it up, and call it a vegetable *end sarcasm*. 

I stare down at my plate of tomato slices from the sandwich line, a piece of toast, and a pile of baby carrots. I look around me and see a few dozen students picking at their plates with mild to severe disapproval. Hastily I say grace and start on the carrots.

Suddenly I glance at my plate again. I remember the words I just recited mechanically, as if they were meaningless: bless us and these your gifts which we receive from your bountiful goodness. When I hear the word “bounty” I think of a basket of produce from the garden, a bag of groceries, a table overflowing with potluck dishes. I glance at the salad bar, its metal bowls literally overflowing with vegetables. I look at the cafeteria lines, the pans of food being refilled as quickly as they are used up. I think back to the last time I was hungry. I think about what it means to be really hungry, not just un-full.

Now I see everything with a fresh perspective. I see the hands that serve the food but also the unseen hands that prepared it, purchased it, grew it, and planted it. I think of those who spend more time hungry than not.

Surrounded by a bounty of food, I wonder why I could not see it this way before. 

Sometimes you just need perspective. 

picture by Cacia Scheler

Simplicity

Within a few hours of moving out of my house and to the fourth story of the beautiful old vine-encircled castle I now refer to as my dorm, I realized with a great deal of distress that for the next six months I would be forced to confine my culinary experimentation to those things that could be concocted with a small coffee mug, a spoon, and a microwave. I felt like an artist who packed away all the fancy chalks and oil paints and is left with a tiny square of paper and one those three-packs of crayons they hand out to the kids at Denny's. 

As I adjusted to my new life, I found myself subconsciously resurrecting my culinary passions in the cafeteria line. On day one I awkwardly set down my plate, piled high with mixed greens, cherry tomatoes, garbanzo beans, sweet potato shreds, and balsamic vinaigrette, next to my classmates' mouth-watering mounds of tater tots and fried chicken. 

As time went on, I learned to navigate Chartwell's irrefutably random selection of food. Although I have consumed more off-brand Cheerios in the past two months than I care to admit, I have also found several outlets where I can express myself through my favorite language. I dip baby carrots in hummus from the sandwich bar--simplified crudités. I float spinach leaves in the minestrone soup, top greens with rice salad, invent a roasted vegetable and hummus sandwich, brighten up the black bean soup with fresh salsa, even dip bread in marinara sauce and pretend it's bruschetta. If you close your eyes and picture the leaning tower of Pisa, it works. Kind of. 

The cafeteria has orange, yellow, and green plates, the latter of which are my favorite. Silly, I know, but it makes a significant difference in the visual appeal of your food. Fries and a burger look greasy and blah on warm-colored palates but are miraculously transformed to an almost-healthy-looking feast when arranged on a green plate. Someone told me the term "blue plate special" was invented under this principle. Buffet lines used blue plates because the color decreases the appetite. I haven't verified this but I like to think it's true. Anyway, I grab the first green plate I see and if they are buried I actually dig for one. I'm starting to think my classmates think either I've gone insane or I just really really like green. I tried to convince one that light reflects better off of green and makes you burn more calories while eating. 

I don't think she bought it.

Ultimately, I emerged from the initial comestible scarcity relatively unscathed. With the aid of a few tasteful pieces of dinnerware and a few simple ingredients, I have been able to spare myself from complete deprivation. 

 I now have a new-found appreciation for peanut butter.

It goes remarkably well with apples.

Oatmeal has become a close friend, expected to become closer

 in the inevitably frigid winter temperatures of Chicago. 

Perhaps the best part of this adventure I call college is the nutrition lab in which I am fortunate enough to spend three hours each week preparing various odds and ends, ranging from blanched broccoli to peach fritters. 

This was a delightful quinoa salad with mangoes, black beans,

 peppers, and a limey-cumin vinaigrette. 

As I sit here in my castle-dorm, my fingers pruned from washing dishes, the fridge stocked with 2% milk and a container of multi-flavored hummus, and pilfered pears ripening on the windowsill, I come to the pleasing conclusion that I am content with these simple pleasures.

Currently

Currant jam.
This was my very first attempt at jam. All this time I've been afraid to even attempt it for several reasons:
1. I'm terrified of stepping into a realm of cooking where countless people around the world claim to be the best. There are literally thousands of "world-famous" jams out there. Seriously, people. You can't all be famous. It just doesn't work like that.
2. I don't know how to make jam.
3. It's infinitely easier to buy jam from the grocery store.

Regarding #1, we need to remind ourselves that there can't be a best or a worst jam because jam (like all food) is relative. Some people like their jam chunky, some like it smooth. Some people like it tangy, some like it sweet.
I like mine tangy, jsyk.

Regarding #2, I didn't know how to make jam UNTIL NOW. It's really not that difficult. You just have to wash a lot of dishes or find some minions who will do them for you *cough siblings cough*.

Regarding the last, it is true, however, as with (almost) every other (edible) thing in this world, homemade is much, much yummier.

The process is pretty simple...

wash fruit 

cook fruit

strain/mash fruit, depending on your texture preference

cook fruit a second time

test thickness

jar

chill
consume
The last step, of course, being the most important.

microsoft clip art 

I have a confession to make. I have a crazy toast addiction. It's true. I enjoy toast way too much and probably eat more of it than I should.
But it's just so good.
Especially with butter and jam.
STOP.

So try your jam on toast! OR, if you get tired of toast (if that's even possible?), try it on or in...
ice cream
pancakes
cookies
yogurt
waffles
french toast
other random carbs you find in your house

It's going to be delicious. Trust me.

Stop. Berrytime.

First berries of the season. Yes.

I get pretty excited about this stuff. I ran out there with my little bucket and filled it up while cramming berries into my mouth. They're so wonderfully delicious straight from the bush. Plump and juicy and just a little warm from being in the sun. I always have the hardest time picking at berry farms because they don't let you EAT any until you pay for them. I mean, come on. Go sit out there in the strawberry patch surrounded by some of nature's finest jewels but don't eat any of them. Let's be realistic here. I think they should weigh you before you go and then again when you're done picking and just have you pay for whatever you consumed. Now we're talking.

Alienberry. Yet another great thing associated with berry picking.

So here's the question. What does one do with a bowl full of fresh strawberries?

Dip them in chocolate, of course.

Spanako-what-the?

Spanakopita. I'm really not sure how to pronounce it but I do know one thing: it's really, really good.

YUM.

If you were to Wikipedia "spanakopita", you'd likely find something to the exent of:

Spanakopita is a traditional Greek spinach pie.

What?

Spinach.............................pie?!

Picky eaters and pie lovers, please don't hate me. Not to diss Wikipedia but Spanakopita is NOT pie. First off, you use phyllo dough which (if you read the previous post) we know is completely and utterly different from pie crust. Also, the filling is this fantastic combination of spinach and FETA CHEESE instead of your average fruity pie fillings.
**Brief interruption for some cheesy jokes and cartoons:

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirpfN5-NYKQYIgukTqE1NOaC3nPiWPBZpFXIUqZxzElHXYzX4g_JtVayZqafZNJkrImBI1Ux-_Wnna8dvas24dMp76l7qM-0a8jVL9pedxzaja-HMb9pyVmzS22WKiiO4O9vHyvjv3W8U/s1600/20090916.jpg

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN76P5nQDgSZYabvdvDEc_dqigxOaswIj2g0ystBLGcFHlaRhOb2lgC2m9ZRa6_AmB3tGPLMmFTa2UfCA6CZMN4JHBjiQ22kmZ8Mj3LsFH4gszkRMH4zaEOg6QAg-tiM_78xZaSbcwjSw/s1600/funny_swiss_cheese_cartoon_kitchen_poster-p228488445881563269t5ta_400.jpg

Which search engine do mice use?

Ask Cheese.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

The Packers Mascarpwned the Steelers this year.

Oh man. That cheese joke was whey over my head.

Anyway, FETA CHEESE is this amazing, creamy, salty Greek cheese that gets all ooey and gooey and melty inside the spanakopita and just tastes fantastic. It's also great on salads, btw.

http://www.cookstr.com/photos/recipes/1641/medium/recipe-1641.jpg?1297064583

YUM

I wasn't too keen on the idea of making the traditional Spanakopita pie because it looks like it would be awfully messy...

http://erincooks.com/images/spanakopita/spanakopita-9.jpg

(Of course they make it look all neat and perfect here but things rarely turn out looking as good as pictures on the internet might suggest. It's like those McDonald's ads that make the burgers look like angelic works of art and then you order one and it looks like......not that.)

http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/319428-mcdonalds_vs_burger_king_vs_hardees.jpg

(yeah right.)

So, in the interest of not failing (see Demotivator below), I decided to make Spanakopockets instead.

http://lib.store.yahoo.net/lib/demotivators/mistakesdemotivationalposter.jpg

And I used rainbow chard because [a] it's beautiful [b] it's nutritious and (largely) [c] we had some in the fridge. Convenient. (Spinach would be just dandy too, in fact Spanakopita is typically made with spinach)

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3472/3731893369_c52b7cb856.jpg

rainbow chard

Ain't it perty?

Chard is chock full of all kinds of vitamins and minerals SUCH AS:

vitamin K

manganese

magnesium

vitamin A

vitamin C

vitamin E

potassium

iron

fiber

copper

calcium

tryptophan

vitamin B12

vitamin B6

protein

phosphorus

vitamin B1

zinc

folate

biotin

vitamin B3

vitamin B5

plus antioxidants like:

kaempferol

syringic acid

and phytonutrients (yay!) like:

betanin

isobetanin

betanidin

isobetanidin

histamine

betaxanthin

alanine

tyramine-betaxanthin

3-methoxytyramine−betaxanthin

George Mateljan Foundation. www.whfoods.com

I'm not going to go into the details of what each of these vitamins and minerals DO (because, quite frankly, I don't know. If you want to (know, that is), read this: http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=16 ). In a nutshell, they help keep your bones strong and your skin healthy and they destroy antioxidants that cause cancer. 

And if that's not already good enough, chard is really, really tasty. Especially when combined with cheese. Can't go wrong there. The cheese equation is pretty simple, actually:

cheese + anything =

chard, feta, dill

chard, feta, and dill on fillo dough

It's really simple to assemble these Spanakopockets, actually. Kind of time consuming but in the end it's 173% worth it. The filling is also super tasty just eaten plain or spread on bread and made into Greek bruschetta?

Excuse me while I go eat some chard.

Local Loot

I’m pretty sure there’s nothing better than pulling bright red rhubarb stalks out of your garden and turning them into a tangy, sweet, crispy, buttery pie. Well I just did just that. Actually, to be fair, it wasn’t my garden—it was grandpa’s. But the point is that they were literally growing in the ground just yesterday so they’re amazingly fresh and juicy and all kinds of wonderful. [Sidenote: did you know that eating a stalk of celery burns more calories than the celery has to begin with? Yep, that’s right. Negative calories.] Rhubarb is a vegetable.

Wait, what?

Yes, you heard that right. You may have been personally involved in one of those “is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?” debates and you may also know the answer. If not, I am happy to enlighten you. Tomatoes are fruits because they are—wait for it—the fruit of the tomato plant. Carrots are vegetables because they’re not the fruit of the plant, they’re roots. Grapes are fruits, lettuce is a vegetable (leaf). Bananas? Fruits. Oranges? Fruits. Kumquats? Also fruits. Beets? Vegetable. Kale? Vegetable. Rhubarb? Also a vegetable. Corn?

TRICK QUESTION. Corn’s actually a grain.

Okay, now that we’ve got that (mostly) cleared up.

I’m a huge fan of summer produce and think it’s loads of fun to spontaneously create delicacies out of whatever happens to be in season at the moment. Local produce is great in so many ways and it’s even better if you grow it yourself. Although it seems rather heartless to painstakingly plant, water, and tend your wee baby plants only to ruthlessly cut them down to cook and eat, that’s the (natural) cycle of nature and man do they taste good J

Anyway, back to the vegetable at hand (rhubarb, that is). I found this fantastic recipe for rhubarb pie with fillo dough [brief interrupting informational tidbit: fillo/phyllo dough is a super super super super super thin (yes, it really is that thin) flour dough that comes in handy little rolls of stacked sheets like this:

 

Ta da. Find it in the freezer section of your grocery store!

Fillo dough can be pretty daunting to work with at first but once you get used to it it’s really not that bad. All the fancy recipes warn you not to let it dry out and tell you to “cover lightly with a damp cloth after each sheet so it stays moist” and blah blah blah but I’ve found that to be entirely unnecessary. The sheets go down one by one and get brushed with olive oil or butter and you have to be reeeeeallllly gentle at first (even sprinkling instead of brushing the butter on) by the time you build a stack of about 3 or so you can go to town and brush with a fairly rapid clip, allowing you to (theoretically) finish before the remaining sheets have time to dry out or even realize what happened. Although it’s pretty time-consuming to layer and brush and layer and brush and layer and brush and well, you get the point, the end result is simply marvelous. It’s crispy and flaky and amazing. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming…]

Fillo dough can be used for all sorts of things. It’s traditionally used in Greek cooking. I’m talking spankopita:

and baklava: 

 but you can also make little stuffed hot pockets and crispy apple turnovers and pot pie and CRISPY RHUBARB SOMETHING-OR-OTHER. I’m not sure what to call the end result here because it’s not really a pie (no crust on the sides) and it’s definitely not a cake (no batter) and it’s not a crisp (no oatmeal-butter-sugar crumb topping) but it’s definitely crispy and it’s definitely rhubarb so for now it’s a crispy rhubarb something-or-other.

Anyway, it was fantastic. And since a picture's worth a thousand words...

It was really quite simple. Like I said, I got the idea from a magazine but then I just threw a bunch of stuff together in a bowl and BAM (say it like Emeril) you have a house smelling like cinnamon and orange and rhubarb and a fantastic dessert on the table.

So get yourself down to your local farmer’s market (or garden) and retrieve some local loot. But wait! I don’t have a local farmer’s market! Actually you probably do. Check out this website: http://apps.ams.usda.gov/FarmersMarkets/ .

Oh, and if you happen to go to the Lake Mills (Wednesday) or Fort Atkinson (Saturday) markets, look for the Water House Foods table. Chances are I'll be working there.

Now go eat some celery.

Girl Scout Madness

Girl Scout cookies. Crunchy cookie rounds spread with creamy peanut butter and slathered in chocolate. Cute, buttery little flower cookies drizzled in chocolate. Delicate, minty chocolate wafers lightly dipped in....you guessed it, chocolate. They're all amazing. So when a cute little girl comes to your door asking you if you want to buy some Girl Scout cookies, your response should be "absolutely I do."

Mmmmmmmmm......

Unfortunately, the Girl Scouts of this region appear to be slacking off. I have waited for four months in eager anticipation, waiting...waiting....w a i t i n g for one to miraculously appear on my porch (a Girl Scout, that is), and for four months (that's approximately 120 days of waiting we're talking about here...), NOTHING. You can probably imagine my distress. So I decided to go straight to the source. http://www.girlscoutcookies.org/. Immediately, my attention was drawn to the big "FIND COOKIES TODAY!" advertisement, which prompted me to type in my zip code and....well, find cookies today. I did. Do you want to know what it said? Of course you do. Or you wouldn't be reading this. It said:

The Girl Scout cookie season for Girl Scouts of Wisconsin Southeast has ended.

ENDED?!

WHAT.

You have to be kidding me.

At this point I've become thoroughly fed up with girl scouts. SO I set out on a mission.

Mission: make my own girl scout cookies. Thin mints, to be exact.

Purpose: to satisfy my four month long craving for gs cookies

Goals: to create thin mints that taste as good (or, dare I venture...better?) than girl scout thin mints (that sounds like there are girl scouts in the cookies. Maybe that's why they're so good.  

....I didn't just say that).

Supplies: recipe, ingredients

Timetable: ASAP.

Okay, recipe time. A simple Google search turned up a fabulous recipe, which I modified slightly to suit my fancy (this is one of the many the great things about cooking). Next, the ingredients. It's really simple, actually: flour, butter, sugar, chocolate, cocoa, and a few other baking essentials. I got all my ingredients and tools out and prehated the oven. At this point, as you can probably imagine, I was getting pretty excited. In less than 30 minutes I would be dipping a homemade thin mint into a glass of milk. Mmmm....

Before I began, I glanced over the recipe just to make sure I knew what I was doing. Then it happened: a baker's worst nightmare. The words "F R E E Z E   F O R   A T   L E A S T   2   H O U R S . . . ".

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

It got even worse. After enduring an excruciating 2 hours of freezing, you had to wait an ADDITIONAL 13-15 minutes for them to bake and an ADDITIONAL ADDITIONAL 30ish minutes for the chocolate to harden. Gross. I mean delicious. Chocolate. Yum. But this whole waiting thing was really getting me down. Ugh, okay. Let's press on. I really, really wanted these cookies.

I don't think I need to go into the details of the actual recipe (it's posted under the dessert tab if you're interested), but let's just say that the waiting was definitely worth it. Granted, it was one of the most difficult things I've done all week (okay, not really) and I thorougly dirtied the kitchen and got covered in chocolate from head to toe (quite literally), the result was scrumptious. Here's a picture:

(And yes, that is a bed sheet backdrop. Don't laugh. I couldn't find anything else.)

In case anyone is craving off-season girl scout cookies, the Official Non-Official Off-Season Girl Scout Cookie Company (ONOOSGSCC) is in buisness.

Mission accomplished.

Oh, and while I was at it, I whipped up a batch of these beauties just for fun:

old-fashioned peanut butter cups